4 years

I've written and deleted this and rewritten it a million times!!! Why? Because it is so hard for me to tell a simple story without making it a million pages long. So here is my million and ONE attempt.

4 years ago to this day, I made one of the most important and life changing decisions of my life. To marry my Joshua. Now, I can't write all lovey dovey like the world is full of bliss and love and oh happy day! because that was NOT our relationship. It has been hard, full of trials and we almost divorced. We only knew each other for a few months and we got married because I was pregnant. Not the best idea, and not the smartest move. We married none the less and boy did our lives change.

We went from happy, spontaneous, outgoing, fun-loving, practically crazy (well maybe just me) to anti-social, angry and not so happy making. We weren't communicating, fighting and even in our separate worlds. Oh it was HORRIBLE! We nearly got a divorce last year, BUT through the tender mercies of our loving Father in heaven we stayed together. Did it get easier?? No. It got harder. Last November was probably the hardest month of my LOIFE! I was practically praying everyday that He would just take me and I wouldn't have to live with any of it anymore. I took it minute by minute, trying to hold myself together, trying to look normal, trying not to shoot myself... but with the Lord's help we made it. We sealed the deal by getting sealed on April 21, 2012. Has life gotten easier?? NO. But I am more aware of the tender mercies of my Father in heaven. He has blessed me immensely and I am so grateful to Him.

My Joshua has changed A LOT. Well, I guess I should say he has changed BACK into the man I fell in love with. Life is very interesting. I am married to an organic vegan who is into whole body health. It isn't just "oh I don't eat meat" it's more than that. He is an amazing man and I feel so blessed to be married to him. Yes he has given me more white hairs than my children, but then again he gave me them too. LOL. Seriously though, through all the trials and troubles we have faced, I can honestly say that it has been worth the struggle. I have worked hard for my family, and I have been through hell multiple times to keep them together and I will continue to fight for them! I made a vow 4 years ago 'til death do us part' and a covenant 2 months ago til eternity's through that I will continue to fight for and keep. I am so grateful to have made the decision to get married 4 years ago and I cannot wait for the may more years to go :) Til eternity my love, I LOVE YOU!! XOXOX

For Father's Day

I have had the privilege of having amazing men in my life. All who have had a great impact on my upbringing. I know everyone believes that they have the best father/husband/whatever in their lives but for me personally, I know that I have been one of the luckiest girls on earth to be surrounded my extraordinary men. (I say girls because I'm not the only "girl" in their lives.)

My dad. Half the time I don't know what to write about him, and it's always difficult to. If you know my family, you know that we're kind of rude and sarcastic. Or at least maybe that's just me. And my dad and I are so much alike I feel like I'm talking about myself half the time. Lol. But here's my attempt anyways. My dad is a funny guy. He is kind of scary upfront and a bit too straight forward, but underneath it all, he's a big softy. Growing up we kind of had a weird relationship. I think he couldn't really connect with me cuz we're just alike. Kind of like trying to raise your own childhood self. And I guess that's what did it, because we were so much alike he knew I needed my space. I needed to learn my own way, and he let me do that. And I am forever grateful for it. People probably think he favored my sister, and in a way he did, but she's a big cry baby and needed lots of love. He cared for me and treated me the best way that I needed, and I am so fortunate to have had that opportunity. He is the most caring and giving guy I have ever met. We butt heads a lot but that's just because we're both stubborn and hard headed. He is a determined, immovable force when he wants something and he refuses to take no for an answer. He loves to joke around and tell stories but be careful cuz he'll tell it over and over and make the story better each time. He's a big man with a big heart who loves unconditionally and I am eternally grateful to my Father in heaven for blessing me with such a man. I love you daddy!

I have also been blessed with amazing in-laws! I know some people complain about their in-laws and yada yada yada, but I can say that mine are the BEST! My father-in-law is so wonderful! I think he spoils my husband a bit too much but I can't complain cuz I'm his wife. LOL. Glen is such a wonderful father and grandfather. He has been so good to Joshua and I and to our children. We are so lucky to have him in our lives. Not only has he helped our little family so much but he helped raise my husband. There is so much of Glen in Joshua that I can't help but appreciate all that he has done in his life. He is such a caring grandfather that it is doubt why Joshua is that way his is with my children. Full of love and compassion, he is always there for us and lets us learn on our own along the way. We are so grateful for all you have done for us and we can't wait to spend more time together in the future! We love you opa!


My Josh. Oh dear, where do I start with this man... I have such a love/hate relationship with this guy. I love him so much, I just hate it. LOL. This guy has put me through a lot. A lot more than I bargained at the beginning. Half the time I just want to punch him in the face! But I don't. Because I'm not violent like that. I just don't want the world to know how crazy I am about him. Joshua William Garcia. Probably the most loving and playful father I have ever known. He is SO good with our children. That I can't deny. They absolutely ADORE him because he is so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good with them. Always playing with them, patient and caring, he just loves them and they feel it. We have a little trouble with disciplining because you can just tell that they make him melt and he just can't say no. It drives me up the wall! And I guess that's where I come in. He is no doubt the best father for my children and I am so grateful for him. We've had our ups and downs and I can say that our downs have been worth the ups and it'll just keep getting better. With God on our side, who is there to make afraid? I thank the Lord each day for having such a wonderful man in my life. I love you Josh. Xoxoxox

Happy Father's day to all the father's out there. And may we remember the Father of us all on this special day, our Father in heaven. Xoxox!

My Na'a

A year ago, after 3 long days of contractions, at 1:15 am, our little family was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Melena'a Vileti Kawailani Mana Gwyneth Garcia. 8lbs and 4oz, 20 1/2 inches long, a head full of hair and a good set of lungs, she came into this world 2 days after her due date curious and hungry. She was the hardest pregnancy for me and the longest labor. I don't think I've had so much pain in a pregnancy til hers. It was all back aches, ankle problems, hormones making me crazy (I swear it was the hormones) and it was just... A LOT. I think my hips would randomly go numb and I wouldn't be able to walk for a bit. But she has been the happiest baby since, and I just can't get enough of HER!!!


Now she's walking and talking and thinking she's a big girl. She loves to talk on the phone, watch movies and play outside with her siblings. She thinks she can run with the big kids, and with siblings like hers they help her along the way. But watch out cuz she will smack you in the face if you get on her bad side. Her most favorite person (besides me) is her grandpa. He is the only person that she will go to instead of me. She loves to eat everything, except papaya. I'm not sure why but she's never liked it. Play her a beat or just clap your hands and she'll dance for you. Sing her a song and she'll join you. Gabriel is her most favorite person to play with. He can make her laugh and giggle by just being around her. She is absolutely the sweetest child I have ever met and I am so thankful to my Father in heaven for allowing me to raise such a beautiful soul. I think all of my children are beautiful but Na'a is special to me because she can make me smile when I am sad, comforts me in my times of need and just makes me happy by just being around me. She does drive me crazy because she knows I'll pick her up whenever she cries, but how can you say no to that beautiful little face?

I can't believe how quickly time has gone and I'm thinking of having another one because I get so sad seeing my babies grow. Lol. I can't believe how big all of my children get but it is a great reminder to me to remember to hug them a little tighter and love them a little more each day. I have been so blessed and I am eternally grateful to my Father in heaven for all that he has done for me. I know I don't need a guardian angel because I have 3 beautiful angels who help me each and every day.

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl! Mommy loves you and I can't wait to celebrate many more with you!

xoxox

New Calling!

As we transition into our new community I have just received a new calling!!

I have been privileged to be a part of amazing wards. I loved all of the wards I've been to and can honestly say that I am so blessed as a member. I have been a part of 4 Tongan wards, 2 regular wards, a Samoan ward and a Samoan branch. I have had such AMAZING leaders and I have learned so much from all of them. I have seen kids without leaders or leaders who aren't dedicated and as sad as it made me to see that I couldn't help but feel so blessed to have had such a wonderful time in primary and in young women's. Even as a relief society member although I was young and new to being a mother I felt a part of the organization and I can honestly say that even though I've been through tons of wards and leaders I was so blessed with all the leaders and teachers that I have had. I can name A LOT of them and I wish that I could say thank you to everyone. I think I will one day... but I digress.

Coming to this new ward I was scared. Growing up in mainly the Tongan wards it's a little nerve racking to come to a non conventional ward. We have members from all over the world with dozens of different languages and it's so crazy how many kids there are! And I love every second of it. I feel so honored to be a part of this small TVA community. The sisters here are so kind and there's a sincerity that emanates from them. There are so many kids it is so great for my children to be a part of that. They finally aren't the only ones screaming and crying during sacrament. Lol. But it has been nice.

I was just recently called as the sunbeam teacher :) so I'm Gabriel's teacher! We had lots of fun today. It's funny though cuz that was my first calling out of young womens. Never did I think that 4 years later I would be teaching my own son in the same class. It's funny how life sometimes does that to you. I wanted to be in young women's or something "important". But I guess I get to do the most important job in church too. Teaching my children. Especially my son.

I know that God gives us blessings when we need them the most. And in His timing. I needed this calling and I need this ward. For now. And for however long He sees fit. I am so blessed and I am forever grateful. Hopefully this calling will help me as a mother and as a teacher. I know with God's help I can do all things.

another lesson . in listening .

This week has not been my week. Because I don't have a work schedule, I have no schedule period. I'm just a mess until it's almost noon then I finally get up and get crap done. I mainly do it because Josh gets all stressed out when he gets home and the house is a mess. If I don't have anything to do, I don't do anything. At all. I camp on facebook. So this week has been CRAZY! Not crazy busy, more like crazy I don't know what to do with myself. We have actually been pretty busy with ourselves doing stuff, but nothing has gone my way.

Today was a particularly hard day. We went to a party at the beach for the school thing Gissi and Na'a go to. It was windy so everything was flying every where. I only have 2 arms so I was constantly yelling for my children to "stop that" "don't touch that" "no you can't go to the sand" "don't touch the dog" yadda yadda yadda. My mom was there so she helped a bit. Gissi almost ran to the beach, I thought I lost Gabriel but he went to the bathroom by himself then decided to come out naked for free and Na'a pooped all over herself and decided to scratch while being changed. Gissi kept eating and spitting out food, Gabriel didn't want to eat he just wanted to play, Na'a kept picking food off the ground or off of other peoples plates, you get what I'm saying? It was fun though :) I about had it though when we left. It was perfect timing for my patients and their energy.

Then I didn't get Gabriels school stuff done. I swear these people are so fired! My old doctors clinic has faxed his info 3 times and they still haven't gotten it and they won't sign the papers for me because they haven't received the fax! I've called them a million times and the person that can help me is NEVER IN! And she never calls me back. So I quit. I think I'm changing doctors or clinics.

On top of all the tantrums and crazy day we've had and the no luck with Gabriel's school papers, Josh leaves his card in the atm machine. This is the breaking point for me. I am so furious it takes all of my controlled energy to not scream in his face. I am out of wipes. I am down to my last wipe. One stinkin sheet. And this guy tells me we can't buy anything because he left his card in the atm machine. We go back and its not there. He goes to work and I go home crying. I don't want to ask my mom because she just bought me a vacuum and some other stuff and I just deposited my last 20$ into my account to bring it back up.

I get on facebook and I get on twitter and I feel like ranting. Like usual. But instead I tell myself it's ok lala, it'll work out. I call the bank and they tell me we might not get it back for like 4 weeks..... I am just so upset I don't even know what to do with myself. I'm sitting at the computer not even crying because I'm just soooooooooooooooooooo upset. What am I supposed to do??????? So I sit there and convince myself that its ok everything will be ok. How? I don't know but if I think anything else I'll do something I'd regret.

I write Josh a not so very nice letter and I leave. Where do I go? I don't know. Then I get the feeling to go back to BYU and try again... huh? Go back? But we just came from there... I know the feeling and in my head I literally think "is this really a miracle where I'll go back and it'll be there????" naaaaah, no can. But I do it anyways. I figure why not.

We park illegally and run to the atm. There is nothing there. I go inside and wait at the help desk. He is helping someone else and I'm just standing there and this lady walks up to me and asks me if I'm Josh's wife. huh??? She then tells me she is the lead for the Holomua this year and knew Josh had applied. I told her he got hired and she said great and left. Another worker came to the desk and asked if I had been helped. I said no and began my dramatic story about how I need a card. They pull out a billion cards and start looking through. I ask if they have a bank card and he says yes. I then ask if he has Josh's and he asks me "do you have your ID?" I freak out and ask him if he has it. He says yes and I literally jumped with excitement! Trying not to scream I asked if he needed Josh and he says as long as I have the same last name he'll give it to me. And he did :)

You cannot imagine how my mood changed in that one instant. I went from crybaby of the century to happiest wife ever! We stop at the front of the building and offer a small prayer of thanks. I have been humbled again. Of course I go home and write a simple note saying I found the card and leave my horrible letter for myself as a reminder that even though my day doesn't go exactly as I planned, God has a plan. I just need to trust in Him. Even though my day was crazy and I ended up coming home crashing (which is why I'm up at this hour), I learned a valuable lesson.

Had I not listened to the spirit and not gone back to BYU, we probably would have waited the 4 weeks. Or canceled the card and got a new one. Even though my day didn't go perfectly and I didn't get everything done that I needed to do, He saw me through the things I NEEDED the most. Like wipes :) Don't underestimate the small things. They make the big things possible. I am listening. Even if it takes me a little longer than most...