2013

2013 has been so good to us.

But a little back story before I go into 2013, May 2012 we finally got into TVA while Joshua was attending BYU-H. We were planning on being there about a year until he finished his Bachelors. Surprise, surprise, Joshua decided in August that he was going to change his major and graduate in December 2012, 6 months sooner than we were expecting. So what was next?

Looking at the various Master's programs, he tried to find everything possible for us to stay in Hawaii. There really was no option. But nothing felt right. Nothing fit. Then when he finally considered moving back to Utah... *ding*ding*ding*! We have a winner! So in October 2012, we decided we would be moving back to Utah after Joshua graduated in December.

We seriously had no idea what we were doing. There was no school, no job, no big opportunity waiting for us that helped us made our decision. We just knew we needed to come back to Utah. 2 days after graduation we were on our way to California to spend some family time at Disneyland. And 2 days later, we were on our way home. When we finally got to Utah, that's when we really had to ask ourselves: WHAT NOW?

We moved on the simple impression that Utah was where we needed to be. Things just started falling into place and blessing after blessing after blessing came our way. Within the next month Joshua found a job. We got to be here to spend time with Joshua's uncle, his dads only living sibling, before he passed away in February. Don't get me wrong, we had our trials. I got into a crazy accident in March. That was a struggle for me, and was when the snow came. (I crossed the freeway, hit the barrier and rolled because of ice/snow.) We joined ROC and got to go with them to California. I started school and will be finishing this summer. We moved into a beautiful home with amazing neighbors and ward. We've had our needs taken care of and half the year I have felt like I seriously had no idea what was going on.

In Elder Bednar's Patterns of Light video series of receiving revelation and light, he talks about just having a little bit of the path illuminated. More wouldn't be illuminated until we walked a few steps into the cloudiness. That is the lesson we have learned in 2012. We felt something was right and we talked about it as a couple and made our decision. We had no idea what it was going to lead to, what we were getting ourselves into, but we felt it was right and we did it. Each time we have, we have been blessed in ways I never thought possible.

But we were tried. Things were done not without great faith, stress and a series of "are you sure this is what you feel, that this is right?????" We struggled a lot. But we struggled together and we kept our faith. We did our best in keeping the commandments and did all that we could before we turned to the Lord. I struggle with asking. Not just the Lord, but my parents, friends, even my husband. I've learned that it's ok to ask. I haven't been selfish in asking for things that I need, but I have been prideful in not asking when I know I should. The Lord is so generous and giving and we seriously just need to ask.

I am so excited for 2014. Our trials have changed over the past 5 years of our marriage. Changed in a good way. And they are continuing to change as our weaknesses become strengths and as we find our talents and gifts and work on them. I know that 2014 will not be without trials. But as I've learned, "for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Ether 12:6) I pray that we will continue to walk forward as the Lord continues to illuminate our path. Happy New Year!

The LDS Semi-Annual General Conference

image from LDS Media Talk

I am so grateful to have General Conference each 6 months. When I was younger I thought it was fun because we got to eat and chill at home or go see family for the whole weekend. Sometimes there was even a dance! (Only Tongans would.) But as I have gotten older, I appreciate General Conference for the gold mine it is. Each talk, each leader, each session is filled with Spirit. I can't tell you how much I learn from listening and rereading their words of wisdom, hope and unconditional love. I can't tell you my favorite talk because there were several that stood out to me. And as it usually goes, when I reread the ones that didn't, I always seem to catch something that my heart/head/soul needed to hear/feel.

image from foodstorageandbeyond.com

Member or not a member, I urge you to read or listen to the LDS General Conference. The messages are filled with love and compassion, not scaring us into repenting but urging us to find the path and keep on keepin on. It's a tough world to live in right now, member or not. People are getting crazy, doing unspeakable things and to be able to listen to such kind and gentle but firm and pleading words gives ones soul the hope, light and love it needs to keep moving forward in life. There are so many beauties in this world, don't get me wrong, but with the messages of not being pretty enough, good enough, talented or skilled enough, messages of never having enough, needing more and more, we are bombarded with the thoughts and feelings of not being enough or perfect. And as much as I hate to break it to you, we never will be. But the beauty is, we don't have to be. We don't need to be perfect or enough, just to do our best and to follow the Savior is really all He asks. And that's all we can do. In the words of Hugh Nibley "We can only do two things in this world. Forgive and repent." And in the words of our sweet beloved prophet Thomas S Monson "May we show increased kindness toward one another, and may we ever be found doing the work of the Lord." May we forgive others easily and remember our own follies with godly sorrow that will turn us to Him and realize, we ALL need Him. May we be kinder, gentler and more loving towards others and realize that IS His work.

I hope you will take the time to watch and learn. Not just from the speakers but from the Spirit, "10 For by my ^aSpirit will I ^benlighten them, and by my ^cpower will I make known unto them the ^dsecrets of my ^ewill—yea, even those things which ^feye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man." D & C 76:10. Visit www.lds.org for more info or watch LDS General Conference to be edified.

General Relief Society Meeting

There is something beautiful about being in the Conference Center of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's massive beauty, the sacred presence and the overwhelming feeling of the Spirit can be felt by all. Being able to attend the General Relief Society Meeting was an experience I will not forget. I have been in the Conference Center many times before. For the Presidency's Christmas Devotional, multiple stake conferences, the General Young Women Meeting and for various tours with family members. I have always walked in with reverence, feeling overwhelmed by the size, beauty and spirit present but this time was a little different. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I am older with better understanding I have become more sensitive to spiritual things. Whatever it is, I am deeply grateful to have been there with my sweet mother-in-law and good friend visiting from Mexico.

Aushra, Olga, myself at the Conference Center

The meeting itself seemed to go by too quickly. We were there just 15 minutes before 6pm and with all the women around us, I am not sure how they got us all in within such a short period of time to start the meeting. I was sure we were going to walk in late but sure enough we got into our seats a few minutes before the meeting began. From then on it seemed like a blur of beautiful messages and wonderful music. Each song penetrated my soul as I realized they were picked by the Lord Himself to convey a message to each soul present. The speakers spoke of sacred covenants, the love of our Father in Heaven and Savior and ended with loving words from our beloved prophet. As I spoke with my mother-in-law and good friend afterwards I realized we all had received messages according to our particular trials. I love that when the speaker is filled with the spirit of the Lord, the Spirit itself is able to teach each soul their separate lessons they needed to learn.

The message that stood out to me, that I absolutely needed to hear came from our sweet beloved prophet, Thomas S. Monson. With his large frame it is hard to see that such a sweet, caring, sensitive soul resides in that body. I never realized how tall he was until I saw him stand in front of the pulpit. I was sure he was bending a little bit to reach the microphone. Regardless, his message was sweet and simple. You are a beloved daughter of God, who loves and remembers you. You are needed in this world, "you are the light of the world", a message I know each and everyone of us listening has felt the need to hear. It's hard to feel important, loved, needed and cared for in a world that teaches you about physical "beauty" and worldly "perfection". Perfection in everything. Yet to know our best is what our family, our loved ones, those whom we serve and associate with, is what they need.

Another quote that touched me to the very core was one I have been struggling with all my life. I am a bit stubborn and hard headed. My mom has always reminded me that I was the child that needed to learn on my own. I could never take anyone's word, I had to find out for myself. Even if it meant getting hurt and making choices that weren't exactly the brightest. I am not a perfectionist but I do like to plan things out. I had a plan for my life and when it didn't go my way, I struggled. And as most times, nothing goes my way. I struggle a lot with trusting in the Lord, with accepting His will. "Whose will is wiser than my own" will be a message I will probably print, paint, embed, mark everywhere in my house and hopefully in my heart. These past couple of years have not been easy. But they have taught me that He is the Master Planner, the Great Designer and He knows me, my life, my needs, my struggles, my strengths better than I do. Hearing those words made me realize how little faith I really have. I believe in my Savior, I believe He loves me, but I still try to do things my way. Until I can learn that "His will is wiser than my own", I will probably keep struggling through this life.

I bare testimony of this gospel. This is His church and we are His servants on earth. I bare witness that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet of these latter-days. Joseph Smith saw the Father and our Savior. He translated the Book of Mormon and I am forever grateful for his faith and trust in the Lord. I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I have asked and felt for myself that it's words are the words of prophets of old and Christ Himself. I am grateful for the organization of the Relief Society. I love all my sisters in Zion and pray that each will be able to hear these messages meant for each and everyone of them at this time. I know there is a God and He is my loving Father in heaven. Jesus Christ is His Son, who sacrificed and suffered for all mankind. He knows you, He loves you and He wants you to return to Him. I urge you to ask for yourself, don't take my word for it, pray and ask in His name if these things are true. I know that the Spirit speaks all truth and if you are willing to hear it, He will tell you the truth of all things.

To learn more about the Mormon/LDS church visit www.lds.org and here is the link to the General Relief Society Meeting. You can read or listen to it. This coming Saturday October5th and Sunday October 6th will be the General Conference where we listen to various leaders of our church. Tune in to listen at 10am and 2pm Mountain Time Zone.