I can't tell you how much I love and hate ROC firesides. I love them because the music is so beautiful and the Spirit is just so strong! I hate them because the music is so beautiful and the Spirit is so strong that it makes me cry. Every single time. I've heard these songs how many times?? Yet each time I hear them again, my testimony grows as I feel the Spirit whisper to my heart "It is true".
One song gets to me every single time we sing it. I have to focus during practice so I don't end up crying. I don't have any attachments to the song, but I remember the first time hearing it. My heart was racing and I just felt so overwhelmed that I began to cry uncontrollably. The words pierced my soul as if they were written just for ME. Lluvia Campbell has written most (I think all but 1 or 2) of the songs we will be singing. She wrote most of these before I even joined the group. Which was only in March of this year. Yet this song was written as a message to me from my Father in heaven. I want to share a little bit about it with you.
We call it the D&C song, I don't even know what the title is. As soon as I hear D&C I just moan and groan because I know I'm going to get a flashback of my life's journey. The words of the chorus go:
"Savior you remembered me. You did not just let me be. And I can see what you want me to be. And I can see that you have, Lord you have a plan for me."At least those are the words we sing as a choir, I'm not sure what the soloist words are. These words hit me hard every single time we sing them. He never forgets you. He knows you and wants you to reach your full potential. It's hard to think about that when times get rough. When things get hard or life's storms start to pick up and toss you around like a ball on the ping-pong table, you feel lost as if your life is out of control, or out of YOUR control. But I think that's the problem. Who IS in control? It's definitely not me. My life doesn't ever go my way. And when it does, it's never for the reasons I want it to be. But when He is in control, you begin to see that there's more to life than trials and tests. It's a preparation ground for bigger and better things. He won't just "let you be". Life is motion, the ultimate motionlessness is death! Why would He let you stay where you are? Are you perfected? Are you at your full potential? No, we will never reach that full potential here. It is all completed in the next stages. So why on this earth, in this state, would He "let you be"? He knows your potential, your plan, and He has the best way to get there.
I've always had a hard time with this concept. I couldn't understand why I had to go through certain things. Why me? Why these situations? Why can't I just be a rich brat with everything I want? Or why can't I just be a skinny mom who bakes and does crafts all day? Why wasn't I blessed with an amazing voice, athletic ability or even just an ear for music? Why did I have to grow up struggling with my family? Why did I have to have hardships in my marriage? Why did I have to struggle with my self-worth/image the way that I did? Why, why WHY????
Those aren't my gifts. Those aren't the trials I needed to face. Those aren't what I needed to reach my potential. I had the struggles I had because they helped ME get stronger. I have the gifts that I have because they help me get through my trials and help those I meet along the way. I used to think my sister had it easy. She is practically perfect in every way. She can sing, dance, cook, draw, write, play musical instruments by ear, she listens to my parents, is completely honest and is the friendliest, most sincere and loving, kindest, big hearted person I know. It is ANNOYING. It's like, can you get any more perfect???? But as I have gotten closer to her and learned of the trials she faces and struggles with, my heart is humbled. I could never, NEVER deal with what she deals with.
We are all different, yet we are all the same. We have our strengths, weaknesses, trials, blessings, ect. But we have ONE Savior. We have ONE Master. We have ONE God. We have ONE life. And we are ONE people. He knows you, even by name. He knows your plan. He knows your potential. But do you know HIM enough to let Him guide you? I sure didn't. And I still don't. Every time I hear this song it is a reminder to me that it is Him that I need. And I'm the only one that can ask Him for help.
I wish I could write the whole song for you. I wish I could sing it for you. I wish you could feel what I feel when I hear it. But I do know this. If you come to the fireside this Sunday, you will feel what HE wants you to feel. This is the message I hear, I feel, I know is for me. Your message may be different. That is the beauty of the Spirit. It reaches our SOUL in a way only you would understand. Come join us as we celebrate the birth of our Savior. Come listen with your ears and your hearts as we praise Him and sing of His matchless love. I hope to see you there :)
-Lala
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